I've long contended that e-mail and other forms of digital messaging are poor mediums for communication, particularly when navigating complex, nuanced, and emotionally charged subjects. The vulnerability for misinterpretation is exceedingly high. Seeds of discord germinate and grow exponentially when there is misunderstanding. The consequences to relationships can be devastating.
Marco Blankenburgh writes: "Every email in the world is actually read out of context. Let that idea sink in… It's true! Because I am writing the email, I know my state of being, where I am emotionally, what my backstory and thought patterns are. The person reading the email does not. All of that context doesn't travel with the email. So, to make sure it is understood when it is received, you have to fill in the blanks and add that context in. That's why email is so often the place where tension arises, when it comes to intercultural communication."
I couldn't agree more. Do yourself and those you are in a relationship with a favor; have face-to-face meetings whenever possible. Before you meet, make it your goal to seek understanding. If you prefill all of the blanks, it will make listening difficult. We all do it and need to combat that tendency. Clothe yourself with humility before the conversation, and recognize your vulnerability to make inaccurate judgments.
When you meet, ask many questions, then ask some more. Seek understanding first. Without understanding, you will fill in the blanks with inaccurate assumptions of the motives and beliefs of others. If you go on to repeat those assumptions to others, it's essentially bearing false witness and slandering.
Social media is also fraught with vulnerabilities. I believe we have a moral responsibility not to let ourselves be taken in by slanderous rhetoric and posts. How do you guard against falling prey to being manipulated by those bearing false witness? Two proverbs come to mind:
He who answers before listening— that is his folly and his shame. The first to present his case seems right, till another comes forward and questions him. Proverbs 18:13 & 17 (NIV84)
Take time to listen and to get the other side of the story. Wisdom, understanding, and knowledge, when combined, bring stability and fosters harmony in relationships. Proverbs 24:3–4 (NIV84) By wisdom a house is built, and through understanding it is established; through knowledge its rooms are filled with rare and beautiful treasures.
p.s. In this time of heightened polarization and sensationalized divisive rhetoric, we would serve ourselves and our fellow citizens well by applying the same principles to political conversations.
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